I hate writing.
I’m not writing’s number one fan. I avoid it like I avoid avocado toast but it’s everywhere I go.
Anyone who writes will tell you it’s not much fun. The most fun I usually get out of it is the split second after I hit ‘post.’ Then I go back and re-read and re-edit and wonder who gave me the right to voice what I think.
So why am I writing about writing? Well, because I’m done running away. I’ve realized over the last few months that fear likes to rule my life and I like to sit back and let it run the show, too afraid of failure and imperfection.
Writing is hard. It is, for me, the most vulnerable act. Imagine walking into a room of strangers, stripping naked and reading a list of your flaws. That’s what it feels like to write. Especially about sometimes hard, confusing things. Especially online.
Fear is why I’ve deleted two blogs and the entirety of their contents. Fear is why I haven’t shared any writing since April. I don’t have writers block - I keep a list in the notes on my phone with post headlines.
That’s why I figured a good place to begin again is just by writing. Just by writing out, plain as I can, what my struggle is. Because I don’t usually know what’s what until I’ve written it down, but when I know what the what is, then I can move forward.
So here’s to writing, even though it’s hard. Here’s to kicking fear and doubt to the curb. Here is saying yes. you can do this. you have to do this.